Today we’re going to discuss a particularly thorny issue:

What is the best way to enter a shower when it’s initially too hot… but will be a perfect temperature after your body has adapted?

The answer may surprise you!

Method One: The Rockband

Instructions:

As you enter the shower, grasp an imaginary guitar in the Rockband pose.

NOTE: While it is possible to use a real guitar for this purpose, it is NOT recommended. Due to the lack of planning permission for adequately large bathrooms, there is rarely room to comfortably fit a guitar in modern shower cubicles.

Tilt your right shoulder forward in the classic “rocking-out” position, and allow the stream of initially-too-hot water to touch your shoulder.

IMMEDIATELY begin rocking out, by bringing your right shoulder upright, and then quickly rocking your LEFT shoulder forward until the stream of too-hot water touches.

Continue to rock out by alternating your right and left shoulders back and forth, edging forward as you do so.

If you like, you can scream “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH” while executing this manoeuvre. (This doesn’t affect your temperature adaptation procedure, but does make you feel awesome, like you’re headlining a private festival in your bathroom.)

As you gradually enter the water your body automatically applies the relevant science by adapting to the water temperature. Perfection!

Method Two: The Scandinavian Plunge-Dive

Warning:

The “Scandinavian Plunge-Dive” is a deeply silly technique.

You execute a Scandinavian Plunge-Dive by propelling yourself horizontally into the shower from the wall opposite.

While the rapid entry to the shower helps the body to quickly adjust to the temperature, the extreme silliness of this method means injuries are common, and the supposed ‘benefits’ claimed for the technique are far outweighed by the risks.

In some cases, Scandinavian Plunge-Divers have been known to fail to remove metal fences they’ve mysteriously installed between themselves and their outdoor shower, leading to further devastating consequences.

In short, a shower is a serious place, and is not meant to be an opportunity for thrill-seekers to get their adrenaline fix. Stay well clear of the Plunge-Dive!

Method Three: The Gradual Zombie

Instructions:

To perform a ‘Gradual Zombie’, raise your hands in the air as if you’re hungry for human brains, and edge gently forwards.

As you enter the water, moan loudly at the indignity of it all.

Continue edging forward while moving as few muscles as possible, wiggling your toes for grip as required.

Recall that zombies are probably cold-blooded creatures so any initial temperature discomfort is meaningless to them, and therefore to you.

Success!

Method Four: Don’t Bother

Remember, it’s always an option just to do something else.

Sometimes showers are too hot, and while we could adapt to the temperature after pushing ourselves through it, we might simply not want to.

So maybe - for today - we’ll decide not to go through with it after all.

That’s cool.

Method Five: Change the Temperature

Here’s how it’s done.

First, change the temperature DOWNWARDS until it is slightly cooler.

NOTE: Don’t go too far, or you’ll end up with what is technically known as a “cold shower”, the discussion of which would require a completely separate post!

Then, once the water is at a comfortable temperature, enter the shower by using your favourite method of motion.

Wait for a few seconds for your body to apply its special science and change its internal temperature. The water will now be slightly too cool.

Then - and here’s the trick! - adjust the temperature UPWARDS until you reach the perfect temperature once more.

Amazing.

Problem Solved!

And there we go! I hope this has been a useful compendium of helpful methods to manage the serious and important issue of getting into a shower that’s initially a bit too hot.